Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
honey bunches of taint.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
