I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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