if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
