she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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