I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
