i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Someone came in the potted fern
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
