yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We need a shit load of segways right now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
