how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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