you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
