i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My vagina just recognized that song.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
