I wanna bring you to show and tell
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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