Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
