We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
