I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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