I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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