My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
