to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
