Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
