Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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