The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
