Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
