So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
