Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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