Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
