Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I looked at my own cervix.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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