I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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