she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
