he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
