That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Im just a social blackout drinker.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
