I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
