he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
