worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
