WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
