So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
