I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
