I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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