Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize