p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Fuck appropriateness.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
