she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
worst night to have a conscience
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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