I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
