Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
