Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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