my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
