Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
