After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
