Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
