when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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