If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
do herpes really smell.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
