i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
