He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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