hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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