i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
