I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
