you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize