home. puking in laundry basket.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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