I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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