I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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