could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You've changed since you got that strap on
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
