His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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