Say something about gay babies.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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