stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
